It was a haphazard exercise, fueled by that burst of adrenaline that comes with the buzzy energy of a new year.

Back in January, I scribbled down a list of goals that, as tends to happen with such things, quickly faded into the archives of my journal as the busyness (and fires) of the new year began.

I knew that this list existed, but had forgotten specifically what it contained, so a few weeks ago, I pulled out my old journal to check back in.

And I was struck.

For a few items on the list, not only had I achieved them, but I have continued to build upon them, and they have fundamentally shaped how I spend my time and energy today.

Which is pretty cool.

However.

Time and energy are finite resources and dedicating so much of them to these pursuits has also resulted in a felt lack of progress in other areas of my life.

Three specific goals have both been exciting to pursue and have resulted in a subconscious reprioritization of my life that I am still processing.

produce a comedy show

the good

A year ago, Women in STEM was a silly idea. Today, I have produced four sold out shows with plans to grow in 2026. Working on this project has resulted in many late nights as I navigate the world of building something from scratch and working to create an impactful brand and community.

And it has been a highlight of my year.

the bad

Building something from nothing takes work. As a result, I haven’t been writing and performing as much as I have in the past, which has resulted in my actual performance at these shows being…less excellent than I would like.

As my time and energy has gone into “being a good producer,” promoting the show, developing branding, and working with vendors, I’ve had less time to dedicate to “being a good comedian.”

write another pilot

the good

I actually haven’t done this one. (Failure!!!) However, I did begin a television writing program at UCLA. 

I just completed the first quarter of this program during which I wrote a spec script (a new episode of a show that already exists) and the next two quarters will require me to write two original pilots. Though I failed this one, it has inspired action that will result in achievement of the initial goal, just a little late.

the bad

Between attending class, preparing notes about my classmates’ work, and doing the actual writing, this program takes quite a bit of time.

It also requires me to travel across town in LA traffic to campus every Wednesday night, which has forced me to turn down a few comedy shows that have come up in the past few months. (Resulting in further atrophy of the stand up muscles.)

get Mergers read

the good

A little over a year ago, the incredible Marten Hoekstra approached me with the idea for a play. I said yes almost immediately and we embarked upon our first co-writing journey. Since then, Mergers has shortened to Merger (a real Galinda → Glinda situation) and we have spent several hours almost every week since writing, planning, and rewriting.

In October, we completed a staged reading, where we got to see actors bring to life these characters that had, until this point, lived primarily in our heads/Zoom calls. It was very cool and we’ve just finished a rewrite and are planning our next steps.

the bad

Spending hours each week writing (which I love) has detracted from my formerly-obsessive commitment to professional development. Though my writing has improved tremendously, the pace of my technical career growth, an area of my life that is rather important to me, has slowed and I've felt increasingly directionless in my actual job. 

So what?

Personally and professionally, I find myself at a bit of a crossroads. I started a new job a year and a half ago, and I have yet to find in it the same level of growth, purpose, and direction that has historically fueled me professionally.

This job is less demanding than what I'm used to and, without totally realizing it, I have filled the space it created with these additional pursuits.

From the outside, having a job that allows me to pursue my creative endeavors sounds ideal and I do feel quite lucky to be in this position.

However, it doesn’t come without a cost.

Historically, my value and identity have revolved around work or school, in loving my job and being great at it.

When I started my first tech job, I literally got sad on Fridays because it meant I’d have to wait until Monday for everyone to be back in the (totally remote) office. 

Before you think “WOW, LOSER!!!” (and I reluctantly agree with your assessment) let me remind you that I had worked really hard to break into tech and I loved learning and being part of something I had dreamed about.

I was also living in Irvine during a pandemic so I didn’t have much else going on in my life in general. It was exciting to be "all in."

In 2025, life looks a lot different. I’m no longer immersed in the shiny mirage of a series A startup and instead find myself participating in the stable routine of an established IT software company.

At the same time, I’ve collected these unrelated passions and entrepreneurial pursuits that require my time and energy and in this increasingly-flexible world, I’m at a bit of a loss as to how to move forward on all of these paths simultaneously.

Rather than building anything substantial in a particular direction, I feel like I keep laying down new starting lines as additional interests and opportunities capture my attention. 

And as exciting as the starting line can be, treading in the muck of beginner’s pursuit in a million different directions often just leaves me feeling mediocre all around.

What to do?

Do I go all in on tech, find a new, intense job and focus on advancing my career, allowing these “passion projects” to slip into the background?

Do I continue in my job that doesn’t bring much excitement or direction and pour all of my “overachiever energy” into these newer pursuits that have no guarantee of substantial return?

Do I attempt to straddle both worlds, continue to advance in my tech career while simultaneously working to build a business, write a play, and potentially break into the world of entertainment?

As I start drafting my goals for 2026, I’m leaning towards choice three. Which admittedly feels a bit like a copout and not necessarily the best strategy.

There are voices in my head telling me that I should choose a lane and throw everything I can into it, that it’s better to excel in one area than be “ok” at a bunch of disparate things. 

And these voices are saying that logically, that lane should be tech. They nudge me as I experience the continuing explosion of AI and then again as I watch the already-tumultuous entertainment industry continue to tumble into ever-evolving chaos.

And yet.

The more I write and the more I build Women in STEM, the more deeply I believe in the power of storytelling and connection and the more confident I am in my unique ability to impact the world in that way.

Additionally, I’m currently reading the book Range which is doing a pretty good job of convincing me that building a wide foundation of disparate areas of interest is actually more effective long term.*

I love working in tech. I want to keep growing and I want to be great at a job I care about.

I love writing. I want to keep improving and telling stories that matter.

I love producing my show. I want to keep building a community and brand that connects people and makes them feel known.

What does it look like to invest well in all of these things? I’ll check back in 2026.